Trip starting Saturday the 22nd

I am going to try to give a synopsis of a crazy trip, highlighting the obscene, but still giving everyone an idea of what we dealt with.

Sign in at 8:53am, have to be at the plane for boarding at 9:13. We are flying to New Orleans. As far as we know our pilots have a close connection so we begin boarding without them, personally I don't prefer this. We have everyone boarded by 9:50 for a 9:53 departure. Any pilots...no. Call gate agent...she doesn't know anything. 15minutes later still no pilots...call tower...they don't know where are pilots are except they are at the airport. Wait 10 more minutes, it's now almost 10:30, passengers are restless, we are trying to stay out of the way. Finally I call the pilot duty desk, pilot on duty says they should be here....they're not! He checks....the pilots come down the jetway. There checks take another 15 minutes we leave right around 10:45, almost an hour late.

Get to New Orleans, unload and reboard quickly, our flight time is short, we could be only 15 minutes behind even though we started out almost an hour late. Guess what...weather.
So seriously, we have to divert to Montgomery Alabama and sit for two hours bc as far as we know there is a tornado sitting over the Atlanta airport. Now when you pull the weather up on your phone there is a huge red spot right over the airport, meaning severe weather. Montgomery is a teeny tiny airport with no gate for us. We finally decide to let the back stairs down to let people off for a short time. A lady is getting off comes up to me, ps we made about 5 announcements about the weather and diverting, "seriously, why are we diverting...I know there is nothing happening at the airport" - her
"there is some serious weather there, no one is landing" - me
" I know there's nothing going on there, this is ridiculous" - her
"mam, we don't divert for fun!" -me

Ok so what the hell? She's giving me attitude this whole time...yes we send 4 planes at one time that are supposed to land in Atlanta to Montgomery for fun. We make tons of money by doing that, plus I definitely want to deal with 120 cranky people who are missing their connections for two hours.

We finally get to Atlanta about 2 hours late, our trip is changed to a short 9 HR 30 min layover in Augusta and we don't have pilots again. Wait 20 min for pilots, then we have a small maintenance issue, takes another 10 minutes, and then maintenance forgets to sign off so we have to wait another 20 minutes to get our final paperwork so we can leave. Talk about a long day.
It's ok we only have 2 legs the next day right. First leg, at the airport by 5:45am. Push back...ground hold in Atlanta. Lady gets up to go to the bathroom, older, wheelchair passenger. Comes out right before takeoff. Back flight attendant almost throws up. Poo, yes you read correctly, poo all over the bathroom and the lady. As she walks back to her seat she leaves 3 more poo piles in the aisle. I am NOT joking! Once we get in the air she has to go back to the bathroom to put a diaper on. We have to get the universal biohazard kit out to clean up....gross! Now don't get me wrong, I feel for the lady she was nice and obviously couldn't help herself, but really look at what we deal with.
Still have a whole day left of flying...let's hope the shenanigans are over and done with, smooth sailing, I mean flying would be nice.

What flight attendants are all about, well me anyways!

Everything I am about to tell you is completely true. Although it may sound like fiction, the stories, facts, are incidents that happen to flight attendants on a regular or semi-regular basis. It seems crazy that, what we assume, are normal everyday people can act so erratically. Let me preface this by saying that growing up I always thought I was just a little above average on the intelligence scale, after starting this job I realized I was a genius...not necessarily Einstein, but we're talking pretty close when compared with the average American. You might not understand this after every story but I promise there will be many.